Flashbacks

Ten year old innocent eyes 
Peaking through the crack in the door 
I saw the fight 
I saw the knife 
I saw him stab you 
I saw the blood 
Two years go by...
You're back at it again 
You lived for chaos 
You lived for drama 
Every day, some type of violence 
Three times around the block 
Time stood still 
I still feel the heat of the bullet at my back 
It may have been meant for you, but it came for me 
If I didn't move when I did, who knows?...
You taught me to live in fear
You taught me that I didn't matter 
You lived for chaos 
You lived for drama 
Every day, some type of violence 
Things no child should know 
I'll never forget 
Flashbacks, frozen in time 
So I have to hold myself tight 
I'm all I've got 
So I have to remind myself that I'm alright 
Bring myself back to the present 
Remind myself that I don't live there anymore 

Rage Monster

 "Quit crying before I give you something to cry about!"
"I didn't bring you into this world, but I can take you out!"
Be quiet, child 
Under your bed, save yourself 
Go hide 
Rage Monster is coming 
Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife 
Take a sheet, slip outside 
Gaze up at the stars
just don't fall asleep...
Rage Monster is coming 
You're all you've got 
Run! Save yourself 
Hold yourself together 
Be brave, be strong 
Save yourself 
Rage Monster is coming 

Oh, but Therapy

I've never been good enough for you 
This one truth I always knew 
The way you've always treated me 
It's so clear to see 
I never asked to be here 
I never tried to be an inconvenience for you
People always say that I should give you a break, just be quiet 
Because you gave me life 
But what kind of life is that 
When you constantly choose my abusers over me?
You knew to do better, but chose to do worse 
I'm still picking up the pieces 
Broken glass strewn across the floor...
I've never been good enough for you 
Nothing was ever good enough 
You never saw any value in me 
Because you hated my father 
You took it all out on me 
When you saw me, you just saw him 
It was all insanity 
Trying to make you happy 
Trying to seek your approval 
Trying to make you love me 
My existence has always been a problem for you 
I've never been who you wanted me to be 
Regret me
I know you regret me 
When I behaved
When I rebelled 
I'll never be good enough for you 
Oh, but therapy!
Therapy has taught me 
that I don't need your approval 
that I am good enough 
that I am worthy 
Valuable 
that I am lovable 
that even though you chose not to act 
in my best interest 
I deserved better 
Oh, but therapy 
is teaching me to heal myself 
Emotional wealth 
Reparenting myself is rough 
but I can do hard things 
I can do tough stuff 
I don't have to stay stuck 
in quicksand 
Oh, but therapy 
has shown me 
that I'm more than good enough for me