Thursday, November 14, 2024

Breaking Up with You (Burning Bridges)

I've never been good at commitment 
I've never been good at letting go 
But I'm good at burning bridges 
My attachment style is chaotic, fukt up 
Anxious, avoidant, insecure, crazy hell
These are things that I'm sure you know 
And then I found myself breaking up with you
This is one of the hardest things 
I've ever had to do 
You knew my secrets 
I've always struggled with vulnerability 
but I bared my soul to you 
You saw things that no one else would ever see 
You knew my fears and my regrets 
You were my safe person 
and support 
We spent years together 
And I knew that if we ever ended
There'd be no replacement 
There'd be no other 
I swore it
I meant it 
Then the unthinkable happened 
So I needed to hear the truth from you 
It hurt like hell but I had to end it 
You chose him instead of what's best for me 
I'm not one to cry
But I'm going on four days now 
Thinking of you hurts
It cuts deep 
I metaphorically cover myself in dirt
I don't wanna eat
I can barely sleep 
Every time I think of you, I cry
People ask if I'm okay
But I'm not and I lie
I tell them everything is alright 
I tell them I'm fine 
I'm fine 
I'm fine 
I'm fine 
Yet tears escape my eyes 
I'm really not okay 
I die inside 
I need refuge 
But now can't find it in you 
I doubt you meant to 
But you created this irreparable damage 
I don't know how 
But somehow I'll manage 
To cope with the betrayal and pain 
And knowing that when you chose him 
You became unsafe for me
I turn up my playlist, "Becuz I'm Not Okay"
Surely these songs will help along the way 
I'll write like I always do 
My words heavy, but not few
I'll read the books
Connect to my emotions while I look 
We both didn't want this to end 
But choices have consequences 
And impact is more important than intent
So I had to walk away 
I had to go 
I couldn't stick around 
I miss you 
I miss the thought of you 
I miss the woman that I thought I knew 
Maybe in time 
It won't hurt when you cross my mind 
It's sad and it sucks 
That we had to end like this 
I hate that I had to find myself 
Breaking up with you 
Burning bridges