Saturday, July 1, 2023

He Was

He was broken promises and lies 
Bounced checks 
The time I spent in jail before I was born 
He was selfishness and irresponsibility 
Denial 
He was the captain of the ship he burnt
then abandoned in the open sea
He was the reason the kids on the playground taunted me
"You're a freak! 
What's wrong with you?
What did you do? 
You don't have a daddy!"
He was the blood streaming down my arm 
The fire on my skin but there's no flame 
No one cares, they all just move on 
He was the reason for my stubbornness 
I just wanted to prove them wrong 
False hope 
He was dimly lit, smoke filled rooms 
Beer cans scattered around 
Unappetizing TV dinners that didn't fill
Unpaid child support 
and doing less than bare minimum 
He was the "I'll come get you" but never show
Never ending excuses and silence 
He was the angry letters I sent 
His name was Resentment 
He was the traitor taking sides with the enemy
The fight after court
and the final slamming of the phone 
He was a reason I run from commitment 
and why I don't trust men 
He was a reason I need therapy 
I'll forgive but I'll never forget 
He was the funeral I don't regret 
not attending 


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